What I’m Afraid of.

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Confession: I had a breakdown at Blissdom as the Gaylord Opryland Hotel staff was  breaking down the ballroom (coincidence? who knows.). The same ballroom where I’d finally let loose, practiced my Jillian Michaels planking skills, and danced til I wet my pants only half an hour before. I’d been partying with Gigi, Natalie H, Frelle, Shell, Ashley, Nicole, Carri, Julie, Angela, Natalie C and soooo many others.

That's me in the middle in the red shirt. I heart planking. And Jillian. And friends who plank with me.

Long swaths of material came cascading down, tables walked out as if on their own legs, and comfy Oprah-like sofas marched away every minute. Blissdom was over.

Danielle Smith caught me as I was leaving.

“You walked away from me earlier,” she said, looking me right in the eye.

That was true. I’d asked her to sign a copy of her book while she had bright lights and a camera waiting on her. It was bad timing, but I worried I wouldn’t get another chance. I apologized for intruding and said I could come back later, but she was warm and kind and insisted on signing it right then. Not with just her name, but with a sweet message that made me teary.

As we talked I felt I was keeping her from her work. I kept saying, “I should let you go,” and though I didn’t want to, I began backing away. She even reprimanded me as I left her standing there, but I knew she had things to do. I always have to be the first to cut myself off.

This is what I do. I belittle myself, shame myself into thinking I’m LESS. I assume I’m annoying and bothersome. In my warped brain, there are two categories of people: (1) me; and (2) everyone else—automatically better and infinitely more interesting than I.

But Danielle called me out that last night. She sat me down on one of the remaining couches in the empty ballroom. Julie and Katherine sat, too.

Danielle talked to me, questioned me, drew me out. I cried for many things: for her kindness; for my own feelings of unworthiness; for Blissdom’s end and the return of my fears. I was relieved only the three of them saw me wipe tears, mascara, and snot with my shirt sleeve.

Do you want to know what I’m afraid of?

I’m afraid I’ll always be small and ordinary. I’m afraid I’ll never be extraordinary. I dream of being up on a fancy stage or at a podium talking to people about writing. I’m scared it will never happen.

I put everyone else up on high shelves where they are kept clean, pristine and shiny because they are beautiful and special and I want to admire them always. And I shove myself in a corner.

But Danielle made me see (thank you, sweets!). She pointed out that I can’t compare my beginning to someone else’s middle or end. I am thousands of miles behind someone like her in my journey to becoming myself. To finding myself.

So it begins. I’ll go to more conferences, network and keep digging down to my roots. And you will do it with me on Fridays. Email me if you are interested in writing about your roots here.

Lastly, read these inspirational pieces:

Crayon Wrangler’s Writing Dangerously.

Angela Amman’s 3 Tips for Inspired Writing

Kludgy Mom’s I Let Blissdom Happen to Me

Jared Karol’s new blog idea: Let’s Write Letters to Each Other

Lastly, you can catch me over at Nicole’s blog, By Word of Mouth, where I’m her Monday Muse writing about… writing.

**Since I wrote this, it’s been nominated for BlogHer’s Voices of the Year contest. Please go HERE to vote for me (you’ll need to login/create a username & password, & you may only vote once). Thank you!

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  • Gooddayregularpeople

    Funny. Since I see you standing at a podium, talking about writing, in front of others. Like it’s already a fact.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Thank you, Empress. And your nomination? Means more to me than I’ll ever be able to put into words. I love you. Thank you. xo

  • Frelle

    Im so proud of you right now. And I love you.  And you are worthy of love, you are a beautiful, sweet soul, and your words are important to me.  And to a lot of other people. Your words change people for the better, challenge them, tear at some uncomfortable places in themselves, and ultimately, work to heal them. YOU are part of that process in so many of the things you write. You are already extraordinary, not because of what you write, what you do or fail to do, but because of who you are. Print this comment out and put it somewhere.  you need to read it a lot. *serious eyes* Listen, believe me. I know you.  *HUG* 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Frelle,

      I don’t know what to say. You always manage to tug at my soul in your comments. I think it’s because you are an old soul and we are kindred spirits. Thank you. For everything. A nd I’m sorry my post for you is a mess. With your help we will work on it and make it better. Yes to anonymous.

  • http://janasthinkingplace.com/ Jana A (@jana0926)

    And now I’m sitting here crying. Erin, I fear those same things. I want those same things. Let’s do this. I need to find ME. I’ll hold your hand if you’ll hold mine. 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Jana,

      You are light years ahead of me, sister friend. I don’t think you need me to hold your hand, but I could definitely use yours. THANK YOU! ;-)

      xoxoxoxox

  • Denise

    It is amazing to me that you have a lot if the same feelings and fears that I do. Why is it so easy to belittle ourselves? I think you are amazing and thank you for writing this.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Denise,

      I don’t know, but it sure seems like a “woman thing.” You don’t often hear about guys having these types of issues, do you? Thank you for reading & commenting. See? None of us is alone. We need to stick together!

  • Gigi927

    I love you and am so happy we had time together. I think I can speak for everyone who enjoyed your company that great things lie ahead for you…if you let them :) oxoxo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Gigi,

      You say this even after my behavior Saturday night at Blissdom? (fat balls) (foot balls) Oh how I wish I could rewind to planking and sticking fortunes on foreheads. Miss you.

      And YOU? You’re incredible. I was so nervous to meet you, but I’m glad i did and hopefully I didn’t completely embarrass myself.

      xoxoxoxo

  • Aubrey Ortega

    LOVE. We’re all afraid, I think. 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Aubrey,

      Thank you. I hope you’re right, b/c strength (or fear?) in numbers is a good thing. Right? ;-)

  • http://angelaamman.com/ Angela Amman

    Oh Erin, If what you want is to share your words on a stage, I would personally feel lucky to be in an audience listening to you.

    I wish you could see in yourself what others see in you, my beautiful, talented, wonderful friend. xo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Angela,

      And that, my dear, is what I see in YOU. Not in me. And am really happy we got to spend some time together at Blissdom. Hopefully another conference again soon?

      xoxoxo

  • kreyna

    Bravo. So hard to admit our deep down fears. From what I read, I could see you standing at a podium enlightening many!!!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Kreyna,

      Thank you so very much for stopping by and commenting!

  • http://www.thingsicantsay.com/ shellthings

    Oh, Erin, I’m so glad that they were all there for you to make you see that it’s not a fair comparison at all. You are wonderful. xo 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Shell,

      Easy for YOU to say! LOL. You are wonderful. I’m thrilled we got to hang out and again thank you so much for letting me post at your place right before Blissdom.

      xoxoxo

  • bywordofmouth

    and you are fabulous, and a wonderful young woman just starting an incredible journey and you are so worth each and every step xxx
    and when you need to rest, just plank .. .and think of all your friends, and smile :)

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Nicole,

      That planking at Blissdom? Totally wore me out! And that was the last time I worked out. Sigh. But it was so worth it. I MISS YOU!!!

      xoxoxo

  • http://babywithatwist.wordpress.com/ KeAnne

    Erin, bravo.  For some reason, I’m thinking of butterflies and cocoons when I read you lately.  Truly a metamorphosis.  I am loving finding others who are working on finding themselves because I feel like I’m at a crossroads and so empathize.  I hope to meet you at a conference soon!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      KeAnne,

      I take the butterfly analogy as the best compliment. Which is also ironic b/c @329da3386d9c1daf8ab08b6b6b785f9f:disqus wrote about them today (or was it yesterday?) in the most beautiful post. The blogosphere is such an amazing place.
      What conference are you going to next? I will be at #BBC #StLouis next month….?

  • Anonymous

    You know I want in on this.. and I even have a shiny new place to spread my wings and fly.. now if I could just get my RSS feed to work grrrr.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Angel,

      March is full, looking at mid-April if you want to post? Let me know! ;-)
      xoxoxoxo

  • http://www.postdivorcechronicles.com LeeBlock

    Wow…this was damn inspirational, fantastic and I think the perfect start to your first seminar on writing.  Print it. Memorize it. Because this is IT.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      leelee,
       i love you. you are such a sweetheart. thank you! mwah!

  • http://www.elatedexhaustion.com/ Julia

    “I’m afraid I’ll always be small and ordinary.” I love this line. Thank you for the honest post and making us all remember that we have high aspirations that make us anything but ordinary. 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Julia,

      Thank YOU for reading and commenting. That line was hard to write, but it basically sums it all up pretty well.

  • Hollee Temple

    Erin– For what it’s worth, you’re one of my favorite writers. I love the way you string words together, and the way you lay it all out there. You remind me of one of my other favorite writers, @mrschicken. Keep on keeping on!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Hollee,

      I didn’t know that, and it’s worth more to me than you will ever know. Also? I need to go back and reread bits of your book. Because good enough is the new perfect. And I’m tired of measuring myself against 20 bazillion other women.

  • http://twitter.com/saving4someday Sara Hawkins

    Erin, why not you? Let’s have a discussion – When you see your daughters, what do you see? No, not the rolling eyes of a little girl thinking she’s 22, or of an infant that just spit up on you. What do you really see? If you can’t say it then I will – you see PERFECTION! Perfect little people you and your husband created out of love. Perfect little girls who, despite their imperfections as deemed by those of us here, were born perfect. And you know they’re perfect and you tell them that. It’s not their hair, their choice of outfits, their ability to spell or do math or get a job or write neatly or speak in front of people that make them perfect. They just are!

    So I pose this question to you – Tell me when you no longer were PERFECT? Tell me at what age your perfection wore off?

    And then tell me that your daughters will no longer be perfect when they reach that age too? You can’t! Because you know that in the big cosmic sense that they will always be perfect. And with that, YOU are PERFECT!

    Now don’t let all this talk make you think I’ve got it all together. I’m just now putting it all together and realizing that all those words that were said to me, making me feel less than perfect were just opinions. Evaluations that depending on who you talk to either were nonsense or the truth.

    In ‘the real world’, we have to have labels and definitions and boxes for people. It makes us all feel ‘better’. Gay to the right, Jews to the back, Blacks outside, ugly girls stay at home, pretty girls are easy, brain-injured institutionalized. Just as those all seem absurd, so do all the words that describe you as ‘less than’.

    Did your husband marry you because you were in the right place at the right time? NO, of course not.

    Are all of the women mentioned in this post your friend because they can’t find anyone else to be friends with? Are you paying them? Again NO! It even sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

    And that’s what I mean. You may not be a NYTimes best selling author right now, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. It takes work and effort and sometimes just being in the right place at the right time. But it doesn’t make you less than!

    We compare ourselves to others so often that we think it’s our measuring stick. But, just as you tell your girls that they aren’t less than because they can’t do what some other kid can do you need to tell yourself that same thing! A LOT!

    You are PERFECT! You just have to believe it. And if you don’t believe me then you’re calling me a liar and we both know that’s not true. ;-)

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Sara,

      I don’t really have the words. Thank you for reading this and taking the time to write me such thoughtful, inspiring, kind comments. You are right. I need to quit the comparisons. I need sticky notes all over my house with your tidbits of wisdom! I know I have to put in the time and effort and put myself out there more. I’m trying. It’s time.

      Thank you for being my friend. And for being YOU.
      xoxo

  • http://www.literalmom.com/ Missy | Literal Mom

    “I can’t compare my beginning to someone else’s middle or end.”  I.  Love.  This.  So.  Much.  And it’s so true.  I’m glad, that even despite the breakdown, you found such a nugget of wisdom to take home with  you.  

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Missy,

      It is true. I just need to remember it. EVERY DAY. And I can’t wait to see your post and host you here SOON!

      Thank you so much. xoxoxo

  • Anonymous

    This is beautiful. And Danielle IS such a sweet, sweet soul. Thank you for sharing your fears. I, too, am afraid.

    • Danielle Smith

      And you too?  Are brilliant, talented and kind beyond words.  You are one of the most beautiful things I am taking away from BlissDom.  

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Jonahbonah,

      Thank you so very much for stopping by to read and comment. It’s comforting to know I”m not the only one who’s scared. ;-)

  • Danielle Smith

    You are such a treasure.  Such a gift.  And I want you to know it.  I sensed you didn’t know it when you first stopped me and then again when you tried to escape me that last night… oh my heart…. I knew I needed to TELL YOU just how extraordinary I know you to be.  Do you see how you have shared your heart in this post?  So few people are capable of expressing that level of vulnerability with such beauty.

    Erin – I knew you missed Jon Acuff’s opening keynote – it was during that session that I heard him say, ‘don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle’ – it resonates with me because I’ve done it.  I wish I could take credit for that nugget of wisdom, but I only have the luxury of passing it on.  

    I told you that night, and I will tell you again – you aren’t thousands of miles behind me – in many respects, you are miles ahead of me.  You are a brilliant writer and so beautifully self-aware.  

    I understand your fears.  I know your fears.  I have lived them. I do live them.  

    But please allow yourself to be lifted by the people who recognize the extraordinary in you. I can see you at the podium.  I would happily sit in the audience and learn from you.  I will buy tickets.  It is a reality I can picture.  I want you to do the same.

    I adore you, my friend. Thank you for including me in this post with such kindness.  I am so happy I could be there for you.  I would do it again and again.  And even better?  I’m only a few hours away.  xoxoxo

    • Erin Margolin

      Danielle,

      I don’t even begin to know how to respond to all of this. And yes, unfortunately I missed Jon’s keynote because I was still stuck in Chi-town, but I think I can watch it on-line now? Also, I am definitely in for BBC in St. Louis. So I will see you next month!
      xoxoxo

  • http://twitter.com/galitbreen Galit Breen

    I love that you can name your fear, I also love that you can see your dream. 

    Because girl? Once you name and can see it? It’s a straight shot there.

    xo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Galit,

      Maybe that part scares me even more. And even though it’s a straight shot? Still going to take a long-ass time!

  • http://www.nancymcampbell.com/ Nancy C

    Hello, my dear.
    I’ve come to realize that even if my words are never formally published, my life is not “small and ordinary.”
    And neither is yours.
    That doesn’t mean either of us is off the hook, in regards to working towards our goals.
    But….we’re all extraordinary, in lots of different ways.
    I truly believe that.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Nancy,

      You are extraordinary for auditioning for LTYM. And happy belated birthday, sweet friend. I’m sorry I’m late. But it sounds like you have an exciting year ahead! xoxoxo

  • http://twonormalmoms.blogspot.com/ Ally

    Thanks Erin. Because of this post, I linked to the Writing Dangerously post. I read it. And then I immediately went into my blog and scheduled a post that’s been sitting there, unpublished because I didn’t want to ruffle feathers or lose readers. Screw it. My blog, my feelings, my writing. MY PLACE.

    Now as for you? I could not be happier that Danielle sat you down and called you out. Because, I too, already see you standing at that podium. There are so many of your fears that I can relate to, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. You are doing the hard stuff so we can learn through you. Thank you, Erin.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Ally,

      You have such a heart. It seems like we’ve been bloggy friends since we both kind of got started? I am SO HAPPY you published your post. It was incredible, just like you. And you are the inspiration I need to get off my butt and get over to Whole Foods & Trader Joe’s and get some good stuff around here for me and my family. So THANK YOU for that!
      xoxoxo

  • Juliecgardner

    I completely understand that “fear of being small and ordinary”; and I’ll add to that my fear of (maybe? possibly? no way?) finding success someday and having to step outside the safety of my four walls.

    Can’t I just work hard, be extraordinary, but be here at home in my sweatpants?

  • Juliecgardner

    I completely understand that “fear of being small and ordinary”; and I’ll add to that my fear of (maybe? possibly? no way?) finding success someday and having to step outside the safety of my four walls.

    Can’t I just work hard, be extraordinary, but be here at home in my sweatpants?

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Julie,

      Your last line cracked me up. And yes—there is that fear of “OMG, what if something works out and THEN what do I do?”

      Women in sweatpants UNITE!
      xoxo

  • Juliecgardner

    I completely understand that “fear of being small and ordinary”; and I’ll add to that my fear of (maybe? possibly? no way?) finding success someday and having to step outside the safety of my four walls.

    Can’t I just work hard, be extraordinary, but be here at home in my sweatpants?

  • http://www.adayinmollywood.com molly

    It sounds like Blissdom and Danielle were just what you needed. I fear the same thing, Erin. But I definitely don’t think that about you. I think I probably would have acted the same way toward YOU! My anxiety and fear kept me away from Blissdom, as well as some other family issues, but I hope someday I’m able to go to Blissdom. It sounds like it was a wonderful conference.

  • http://www.adayinmollywood.com molly

    It sounds like Blissdom and Danielle were just what you needed. I fear the same thing, Erin. But I definitely don’t think that about you. I think I probably would have acted the same way toward YOU! My anxiety and fear kept me away from Blissdom, as well as some other family issues, but I hope someday I’m able to go to Blissdom. It sounds like it was a wonderful conference.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Molly,

      I’m still sad you weren’t able to make it. And believe me when I say my fear kept me from meeting (or approaching) a lot of people at Blissdom. So I guess I’m glad I wrote this because we can all see exactly how many of us share the same fears!

  • http://www.adayinmollywood.com molly

    It sounds like Blissdom and Danielle were just what you needed. I fear the same thing, Erin. But I definitely don’t think that about you. I think I probably would have acted the same way toward YOU! My anxiety and fear kept me away from Blissdom, as well as some other family issues, but I hope someday I’m able to go to Blissdom. It sounds like it was a wonderful conference.

  • Malia Carden

    It does my heart good to know that other women struggle with those same thoughts. It is especially helpful to hear it coming from people that I consider “put together” and “confident”, like you. I’m always very sure that someone more worthy and interesting than me will take my place in the eyes of others. Why, oh why do I believe that? There are so many things that prove it’s not true and yet…it’s still what I fear. 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Malia,

      If you knew me better, you would know I am anything but “put together” and “confident!” But like you said, it’s always comforting to know others feel the same way. Thank you so much for stopping by to read.

  • http://www.misselaineouslife.com Elaine A.

    I SO wish you could get to the place where you just know how amazing you are.  But I guess it’s hard for us all in some ways… I also SOOOO wish I’d been there to listen too.  Love you… 

    • Erin Margolin

      ELaine,

      I love you too and Blissdom was just NOT the same without you. And I hope maybe you’ll be able to come next year—because I’m going to be a regular for sure. It’s too good to miss. But I am trying out a Bloggy Boot Camp next month in St. Louis…I know it won’t be the same but I’ve still heard great things.

      xoxoxoxo

  • http://www.babesrockinmami.com/ stephanie

    I am tearing up because we have known each other for a million bloggy years and I have seen you grow and change so much and you have already gotten so far from where you were and are heading where you want to be.  I know you will get there, there have been setbacks…wonderful setbacks but setbacks…but you WILL get there Erin.  I know you will.  I hate seeing you continue to not see your worth and see how talented you are.  I’m sitting here with tears to hear you talk about how you aren’t worth it because I know different.  You are funny, serious, thoughtful and so kind hearted.  You genuinely care about others and it’s easy to see how awesome and real you are.  Most of us don’t know you ‘IRL’ even if we read more about you then you would normally share with someone face to face and because of that no one has any reason to say ‘omg you are soo cool’ when you aren’t.  You are amazing and worth it and matter.  I’m glad you had a breakdown if it helped you see some of that. :]
    *this might sound slightly babbly and that is okay.

    • http://www.babesrockinmami.com/ stephanie

      Just realized I mentioned tears twice haha…I don’t edit my comments!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Oh Steph! Your comments bring ME to tears! You are right, we’ve known one another for what seems like SUCH a long time! I can’t believe it. And you don’t sound “babbly,” and if you do then I am guilty of that same thing all the freakin’ time.
      xoxox

  • http://withjustabitofmagic.com Jackie

    I think that we all have similar fears. That we’ll always be small or unnoticeable more or less. Maybe it’s because we compare ourselves to others and their accomplishments or that we don’t set incremental goals that lead to a much bigger goal. But in our own way we are all extraordinary! Also.. you’ll be there in front of that podium talking about writing and helping others!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Jackie,

      Yeah, I definitely do the comparison thing waaaaaaay too much. Don’t know how to stop that. ANd it’s always good to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. ;-)

  • http://aladyinfrance.com/ Lady Jennie

    I can relate to your fears of being ordinary.  I so don’t want that for my life.  And I can assure you that I don’t see it for you.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erinmargolin

      Lady Jennie,

      You are not ordinary, sweets. So perhaps we’re better at viewing one another than we are at viewing ourselves?!
      xoxoxo

  • Jbswrker

    Iit’s hard for me to see how you don’t recognize that you are already extraordinary….
    sometimes we are looking for extreme and lasting happiness, when it might just be that breathtaking sunset, that lasts only moments, that is the REAL happiness!  The older I become, the more I recognize that it is the very small joys in life that count….an unexpected call from a darling granddaughter, or the sweet smell of rain in the air, or your beloved puppy licking your face..
    you don’t have to stand at a podium…you are already behind a podium. 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      thank you, mom. I love you.
      xoxoxo

  • Kimberly All Work No Play

    I had no idea That you felt this way.
    Honey, you write like a rock star. I’m captivated by everything you write. I know those inner demons try to squash your self esteem…but tell them to shut the eff up.
    You are a wonderful writer and person. Don’t ever feel anything less than that or Mama K from Canada will come and kick you in the butt.
    Got it?
    Xoxox

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Kimberly,

      Oh my goodness, this, coming from YOU? You’re the one who writes in such a way that I can see it right THERE in that MOMENT. Your post at Ava Grace’s Closet today blew my mind. And I loved the smiling photo of you at the end.

      You are a gem.
      xoxoxo

  • Cindy Reed ~ Reedster Speaks

    Funny thing, but I wanted to talk to you but didn’t because, you know, you write for Aiming Low and I am “just” a new blogger :)

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Cindy,

      I was “just” a new blogger not so very long ago myself. I still feel very new compared to a lot of the big fish out there. See? I feel just like you do. And there were people there that I didn’t approach because I was too scared. PS Aiming Low is a new gig for me—and I’d also like to think I’m pretty darn approachable!
      I wish we’d gottten to chat!

      • Cindy Reed ~ Reedster Speaks

        I’ll be at Type A — if you are there, I promise to say hi :)

  • Kirsetin Morello

    I love this incredibly insightful, and honest, post. Aren’t we lucky when friends like Danielle call us out–it’s so hard to do, but it’s how we help each other grow, right? 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Kirsetin,

      Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting! And yes, we are incredibly blessed to have friends like Danielle.
      ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/sellabitmum Tracy Morrison

    Love this. You are something Big and Amazing. You. And I really needed this today because someone made a comment on my blog yesterday about how little and sweet and adorable it was and I wanted to punch their fucking face in. xoxo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Tracy,

      Okay, I just got your email with all the shopping links and I LOVE YOU. And I am so mad that someone said that about your blog. I still haven’t made it over to see, but I promise to get there.

      XOXOXO

  • http://www.motherhoodthetruth.com/ Debi

    Erin, I know this feeling too well. My biggest fear in my writing career is to be ordinary, in the rest of my life, my biggest aspiration is to be normal. You see my problem:)
    I love your spirit, your heart and your writing…YOU WILL BE AT THE PODIUM, probably sooner than you think. XOXO

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Debi,

      I love you, too. But you are anything but ordinary and I just read your post about the abuse you suffered growing up with your dad. That took courage, my dear. You are FUCKING FANTASTIC!

  • Una

    You’re gonna be up onstage, girl! Thank you for writing what we all feel but won’t admit.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Holy shit, Sassy Curmudgeon came to my blog AND left me a comment! {does a little jig}
      And congrats again on LTYM—you are going to knock their socks off!

  • http://crayonwrangler.com/ Crayon Wrangler

    Oh Squishy,

    You have grown so much as a writer since I met you a little over a year ago. So many times you have inspired me to write something or reach deeper and write better. Your works of fiction, your musings, your memoirs…ALL OF IT has been a step towards that podium. Writing is YOU, writing is your HEART. You are not insignificant by any stretch of the definition. You, your words…they matter!

    I love you, dear one.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Crayon Wrangler/Alycia,

      And I love you back. More than you know. So glad we got to hang out again this year and maybe you should drive on up to St. Louis for Bloggy Boot Camp with me!!! ;-)

      p.s. I am in love w/ your writing dangerously philosophy and intend to really work on that.

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  • http://twitter.com/NinaBadzin Nina Badzin

    Wow— “I can’t compare my beginning to someone else’s middle or end.” That’s completely inspirational and I’m going to tweet it right NOW. Talk to me about these “roots.” What kind of theme are you aiming for? Interest peaked . . . or is it peeked? 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin margolin

      Nina,

      Sorry for the late reply!

      It’s actually piqued! ;-)

      As for my show me your roots theme on Fridays…I’m looking to get to know YOU—and for others reading to get to know you. Who you are, what inspired you to start blogging/writing. I don’t want the post to be about your parakeet or the weather or your kids. Yes, you could mention your kids, but the post is about YOU. what scares you, what inspires you, the writing stuff, blogging, connecting, etc… does that help? if you are interested, i have dates in May….let me know! would love to have you!

  • http://twitter.com/momma23monkeys momma23monkeys

    Thank you for sharing your fears. i am new to all this & often wonder if I have what it takes.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin margolin

      Momma23monkeys,

      Thank you so much for reading and you DO HAVE WHAT IT TAKES. Just be consistent & persistent! ;-)

  • Anonymous

    I have all of the same fears, Erin. Every day, I sit here and talk myself out of doing things because I tell myself all of the things that I fear others will say. I am and always have been my own worst critic. I want to be known – someone who perfect strangers hope they will get the chance to meet – and sometimes I shoot myself down by thinking, “That’s stupid, and it’s vain – you’re too meek to be that type of firecracker whose lights everyone wants to see.” 

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin margolin

      JWMoxie,

      You already ARE a firecracker, WTF? Meek is not a work I’d use to describe you at all. It’s so funny to post something like this and then read all the comments—and realize so many of us feel the same things.

      p.s. I’m my own worst critic, too.
      ;-(
      xoxo

  • Anonymous

    Of course I’m going to vote you. I’m also going to tell you to hold your head high and tell you a little something that I use to remind myself to keep plugging along.

    I own a book that is truly awful- the title and author are not important. This book has the thinnest plot line known to mankind, insipid characters, unnatural dialogue, and holes big enough for a Buick to drive through. There are typos, interrupted narrative, and honestly, I read it wondering if it was supposed to be campy or ironic or something.

    I keep this book because it was published by a major publishing house, is only one of several subsequent books this author has published, and the reviews of the book, while not stunning, weren’t bad.

    It reminds me that hard work, consistent writing, and a lot of luck will see me achieving my goals.

    And I’m not being snarky about her book, btw. It actually had a scene straight out of SNL’s idea of a romance novel. Complete with a swoon, a gravely voice, and a gothic villian. With a mustache.

  • http://izzymom.com/ Izzymom

    I doubt this will surprise anyone but I feel very much the same way. I think a lot of people do. In any case, I think you are so not ordinary. And? You play a mean game of Words with Friends :)

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin margolin

      Izzymom,

      Wait, WHAT? YOU? Seriously, I do not believe it. You’re so on the ball at AL, managing stuff, so together, plus you’re gorgeous.  And what do you mean about WWF? I’m pretty sure you’re kicking my ass as we speak (type). p.s. It means a lot to me that you stopped by and left me some comment love. Happy Friday! <3 <3

  • http://twitter.com/CiaoMom Elena Sonnino

    Oh my goodness Erin—all the times you said you were not ready to write a be enough post–this is it–and clearly I must be feeling the same way because it struck such a cord with me this morning as I sit in my new home office–ready to be used full time after this school year.  Thank you for sharing this moment, your feelings, and the inner you. xo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Elena,

      Wow. I’m excited to know this struck you…and I guess I’ve never felt ready to post on your site b/c I’ve never felt “enough,” and because I’m easily intimidated and guest posting makes me queasy! ;-)
      Thank you so much for reading and I’m so happy you stopped by!
      xoxoxox

  • http://twitter.com/smiley_soleil Kate

    Erin,

    I am just getting to know you and I am already in awe of you. I have visited your site from my very first days starting my own blog and I was immediately drawn to yours. The look, the feel, and more than anything for the WORDS! You are ONE in a million and I really mean that. In a short time you have encouraged me and helped me in ways words cannot adequately portrait. I am walking around now whispering your name with gratitude. Your willingness to say uncomfortable things challenges me to be better, to strive, and to face my very own fears. You ARE there, it’s a journey, not a destination. Of course, I know you want to “see” it all materialize into more, but be kind to yourself. It IS so much more than you are giving it credit for. 
    Thank you for your encouragement to release my own fears and try to put them to paper. I can only hope that I will be able to return the favor in some small way. {{hugs}}