The Night That Began Eight Years of Wedded Bliss, or, The Look of Terror On My Face On My Wedding Night

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On this day eight incredible years ago, Hubs and I quit living in sin got married. Surrounded by our families and closest friends, we spoke our own vows and became one under the chuppa (for you non-Jews, that’s the marriage canopy we are standing underneath in the photo below).

This may be my favorite photo of us—taken as we were leaving the ballroom after the ceremony’s completion:

It was a beautiful evening marred only by my maid of honor’s toast in which she warned Hubs about that time I tripped and fell unconscious in gym class but due to the inebriated state of several people who shall remain nameless, I fell off my chair during the horah. I thought you might find these photos ridiculously funny rather endearing. No bride should have to feel or look like this on her wedding day (please note my bulging bicep muscles as I grip the chair–although you may be slightly distracted by the fake bosoms sewn into the bodice of my dress):

If you look carefully in the background, you’ll notice my husband is clearly happy and laughing and enjoying himself whilst his beloved bride is experiencing sheer terror. Now I want you to have the full effect and see just how un-level my chair was at this point. This is not a 90-degree angle, people:

Seriously. Look at me. I’m holding on for DEAR LIFE. C’mon, guys, SOBER UP! And while I am not a tiny woman, it’s not like I weighed 500 pounds and was expecting you to hold me up for an hour. Clearly you need to get yourselves to a gym and pump some iron!

I was trying to grab the other end of the handkerchief, but couldn’t continue to hold myself upon the chair with my one remaining arm (oh that I were an octopus!). Consequently, I fell off the chair and onto the floor, flashing my lacy white skivvies to the entire ballroom. Fortunately our photographer either failed to capture me in all my nekkid glory, or he destroyed the proofs and never showed them to me.

Happy Anniversary, my love!

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  • Shorty

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Heide

    Love it!!! XOXOXO

  • Amy

    So funny!
    My groomsman all went out after our rehearsal dinner and got smashed. One of them threw up in the sacristy of the Church!

    Lucky for him I did not know about that until years after!

    Happy Anniversary:)

  • The girl with the flour in her hair

    These are a riot…:)

    Happy Anniversary!

  • BunkieBott

    First if all, you were a beautiful bride. Secondly, I love that you are letting us all laugh with you, though I can see the dread of the actual moment in your face!! I love reading your blogs and hearing your stories- they make my day brighter!!

    Happy Anniversary!!

  • Noelle

    you're right…those are endearing photos!

    mazeltov!

  • Sam

    Hi'ya, that little factoid that you shared about the sandwich and labor was actually very interesting. I FLIPIN LOVE IT! Thanks for stopping in. Look at those wedding photos. Fantastic. Love, Keri
    http://www.samwich3655.com

  • Moonspun

    First, Happy Anniversary and second, we all have a wedding story to tell that's less than perfect…there's yours! Wow…you do look scared shitless!

  • Travis

    I was distracted.

    What?

    Right. Chairs.

    Yeah, I like boo…chairs.

    Right.

  • Lee the Hot Flash Queen

    Happy Anniversary!! I hated the Hora. I only did it at one wedding though…my first. You were beautiful!

  • BigSis

    I agree with everyone – you look beautiful and terrified.

    At least you were wearing undies. I'm just sayin'…

  • Mindy

    Happy Anniversary! I now look forward to your posts everyday. These pics are hilarious (I mean endearing)! I wasn't terrified on my wedding day, really, until we headed off from the reception for, well, you get the picture…;0)

  • Shell

    OMG, how funny!

    Happy anniversary!

  • Joanne

    Erin and Hubs – HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
    What great pictures but I would be just as terrified even if they held the chair level. Remind me to post about the dual downward dog sometime in a post during our couples class – now that might have rivalled your pictures — NOT!!!

    Enjoy many many many many times lots anniversaries.

  • Arizona Mamma

    First time here! Loving it. Happy Anniversary to you. I have some crazy memories of my wedding as well. Not near that crazy, but crazy none the less.

  • Lissaloo

    Happy Anniversary! I would have said no way to the chair, can you say accident waiting to happen?? :)

  • 5thsister

    Regardless of the sheer terror on your face during the Hora, you were a beautiful bride. Happy Anniversary!

  • Arizona Mamma

    P.S. Following now ;)

  • Meeko Fabulous

    Happy Anniversary! :)

  • Tattoos and Teething Rings

    Congrats, happy anniversary! Those pictures look so terrifying, I'm glad I never went through that– the chair lifting, not the marriage :)

  • Beverly

    Very funny…I don't blame you for being so terrified! Maybe you should have had a few too..lol

    You were a beautiful bride…happy anniversary.

  • Shandal

    How funny! Those pics are priceless!

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Two Normal Moms

    Happy Anniversary! Note to self: do not allow drunk people to hoist me in the air! You were a BEAUTIFUL bride, however. :-) I love the line about the fake bosoms sewn into the dress – too funny.
    Enjoy your day!
    ***Ally

  • MJ

    Happy Anniversary!! Here are to many, many more :o)

    Oh, and I like how EVERYONE is smiling around you – I mean come on, it is obvious that your about to fall out of your chair – someone help a poor girl out! That aside, you were and still are a very beautiful woman.

  • Lissaloo

    I have something for you on my blog :)

  • Anti-Supermom

    I'm so horrible, I'm still laughing…

    Your expression is just so, so funny.

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Cathy

    Fan-freaking-tastic!! Love the pics!

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Coffeypot

    Happy Anniversary, but I think they should provide seatbelts for those chairs. It would only take one drunk to stumble…

  • Project Survive

    there is an award for you over at my blog!

    http://www.projecticansurvive.blogspot.com

  • Jessica

    Happy Anniversary! Great photos. You do look a little freaked out in a couple of them.

  • Nicolasa

    You had me laughing so hard into my computer screen! Thanks so much for sharing these gems!

    Happy Anniversary!

  • singedwingangel

    Happy anniversary love the pics.. I am with you my feet stay firmly planted on the floor period

  • Sharon’s Cottage Quilts

    Happy Anniversary!! I'm sorry but I laughed the whole way through!! You are so funny!! You were also a gorgeous bride….nice teeth too!!
    Blessings~Sharon

  • adrienzgirl

    I am with Coffeypot, those chairs totally need some kind of strappy belt thingamabob to keep a girl safe!

    Happy Anniversary dear!

  • The (Un)Experienced Mom

    Hahaha. Oops…sorry, didn't mean to laugh outloud. But that is kind of funny. Did you have lots of bruising or anything from it?

    I guess we all have a wedding story..and some of us with a chair. Mine was with a chair, too. I got "stood up" during the garter retrieval. Hubby could not be found anywhere. Two songs later and a congo line of guys going around me, and he returned. He was prepping the wedding night suite. Hmmm….almost ruined his chances of ENJOYING that room by doing that! ;-)

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Mrsblogalot

    LOL!!! Happy Anniversary!!! These pics are great!!!! Nothing like being scared to death at your own wedding!!!

  • Aunt Juicebox

    Hilarious! I mean….how terribly frightening, you poor girl…

    Anyway, Happy Anniversary!

  • MiMi

    Those pictures are frikken' hilarious!!! Your face…oh your face! You were scared to death, which isn't funny, but now 8 years later it's funny to a crazy blogstalker! :)
    Love that you had boobs sewn in; at the last minute I lost some weight and my boobs didn't fit. So guess what I had to use?? My dad's socks. Ugh.

  • McVal

    Happy Anniversary! They need some seat belts on that chair!

  • mama-face

    You are adorable! I read this on my phone while waiting at piano lessons and I had to struggle to keep my composure. I don't comment on my phone cuz that'd take me about 100 years, so I came on home to visit you again. Why am I going on and on like this?

    Happy Anniversary to your entire family.

    Beautiful dress btw!

  • JennyMac

    Love those facial expressions…:)
    You and your dress = gorgeous!

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity

    Love it! Isn't reminiscing (is that spelled right?!) about the craziness of your day so much fun? We literally had a tornado go through right before our outdoor wedding. Needless to say, we headed inside and the string quartet played "raindrops keep falling on my head" for all of my drenched guests. Good times and great memories! Happy Anniversary, girl! Have an extra glass of wine (or four!) :)

  • Daffy

    I'm totally laughing my ass off! Those perfect expressions captured for a lifetime in one little snap of a shutter!

    I see you got your strike through to work – kuddos!

    Happy Anniversary Friend.

    I believe the girls have a celebration coming up too???

    Hope you're enjoying some wild hot monkey sex :O) Preferably NOT on chairs hoisted in midair…

  • Sarafree

    Your expressions are great! So funny!

  • Matty

    Erin, the look on your face in these pictures is priceless. I only wish I had been there to see it in person.

    Congratulations to both of you. Many more too.

  • Poconut

    That is so horrifically fabulous! Thank you for sharing! Happy Anniversary!

  • Raoulysgirl

    Happy anniversary!!! May you be blessed with many more!!!

    I would have been screaming "Put me down you jackasses!" Probably wouldn't have been a good wedding moment! You handled it well…even if you did flash the guests!!! ;)

  • Two Normal Moms

    Happy Anniversary! Love the pics. I can't believe they let you fall! I hope the wedding night wasn't as terrifying as the reception : )
    -Lela

  • June Freaking Cleaver

    Great pics! If they had it on video, you could watch it forwards and backwards, and in slo-mo…

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Healthy Shift Worker

    Happy Anniversary Erin. I guess there are no more rides in the chair for you??

  • Stina

    Love this post:-) I just became a follower of your blog:-) You had laughing, and at the same time feeling your pain.

    Happy Anniversary to you, and your hubby:-)

  • Holly

    You know I love wedding stories! Every Jewish bride I worked with had the same recurring nightmare—falling off the chair during the horah…never happened at one of my weddings…I am going to pretend i never saw this post so I can say to all brides "That never happens."

    Hava Nagila is my son's favorite song…no we are not Jewish! Go figure!

    Holly

  • The Blue Zoo

    OMG! That is so funny!! LOL The pictures are just great. Happy Anniversary!

  • Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com

    Just called over from the 5th sister site to say hi.That is a funny post. The pics are just great!!
    I' ll call over again to put myself down as a follower.
    Nice to "meet" you
    Have a lovely day!

  • Alex

    Oh excellent! Aren't weddings great? That is sheer terror written on your face!

  • betty

    Thank you for the response, Erin.
    I 'm your brand new follower:)
    xo

  • Germato

    The pictures are classic! And you look lovely, even with how scared you looked!

    Hope you had a great anniversary!

    Ashley @ http://www.germato.com

  • blueviolet

    How did I miss this last night, Erin? omg, this is hysterical!

  • Elaine A.

    I love your dress but the looks on your face in these pictures are TOTALLY priceless. Seriously. Thanks for sharing.

    I'm so sorry you fell…

    Thank God Catholics don't do this whole chair up in the air thing. There's no way I woulda gone for it. There wer ALOTTA drunks at my wedding too. ;-P

  • SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB

    you were a gorgeous bride look of horror or not

    congrats on winning the blog makeover i am so excited for you!

  • RosevilleAndRocklin

    I love your writing style. You are so funny Erin. Who woulda thunk that you have to have a test run on the chair lift. Bless their hearts. Your expressions just slayed me and the pure panic in your face. I mean, um … "oh my goodness you POOR thing." You know if it was a keg they were lifting would have been more balanced. Drunks. LOL kidding.

  • kys

    Happy Anniversary! You were a beautiful bride! You needed a seatbelt for your chair. Too funny!

  • Menopausal New Mom

    Erin, I LOVED THE PHOTOS!! My God, all I can see are boobs and tonsils!!! Love it, I would have freaked up on a chair like that. We got married in New Zealand, no family or anything to spoil it. Only traditional thing was hubby stomped on a perfectly good wine glass!

  • WhisperingWriter

    Happy Anniversary!

    I love those pictures of you looking freaked out. I'd have been freaked too!

  • Always a Southern Girl

    What a fun story about your wedding.

  • Tater Tot Mom

    Great photos! At least you have a better story than me-that is a bunch of my husband's family got drunk on our open bar, went to the bar next door and got in a fight. Then my Step mom got on the head table and started dancing like she was a stripper. Luckily, she didn't take anything off. Earlier in the evening, I thought the worst thing that could happen was that the kitchen staff forgot the gravy, boy was I wrong!

  • Tater Tot Mom

    Happy Anniversary!

  • Allyson

    awww happy anniversary hun! how many years is it?

    i loove your dress! very beautiful :)

  • Amy C

    Those pics of you holding onto the chair are classic! And, so's your dress..beautiful!

  • Jennie

    Seriously, this is the funniest post I have ever come across and the forth picture is probably the best wedding picture EVER!

    Thanks for making my morning!

    Jennie

  • The Crazy Baby Mama

    mazal tov :)

    damn, you're a gorgeous kallah

  • Reluctant Housewife

    Oh my… somebody didn't do their job! You don't drop the bride, you just don't. Very funny story! I love the pictures and I love that you can look back on it and laugh.

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