Reminders for Later.

24 Flares Twitter 12 Facebook 12 Buffer 0 Google+ 0 24 Flares ×

you

t

   u

      m

         b

            l

               e

                   d

in on the

w       n         s                          of the   w     i     n     d.   Whoosh. Rustle. Whirrrrrr.

     i         g

I wish I knew the exact moment you arrived. That spark. But you were a surprise, a miracle–and somehow I sense that nothing about you is going to be predictable or precise.

My belly trembles and shudders.

You are all I can think about.

I worry whether or not you are okay, if I am keeping you safe enough.

With every kick I feel, I get closer to meeting you. But patience is not my forte.

You are proof that magic exists. You make my heart hurt with happiness.

Now please remind me of this after your arrival when I am sleepless, sore, and scratching my eyeballs out with a wretched case of PPD.

Point me back to this post when Abby and Izzy are fighting, you are wailing away, my husband is working out, my nipples are bleeding and I have nothing planned for dinner.

Kindly pour me a gigantic glass of mommy juice, give me a hug, and tell me it will all be better in 18 years. Or so.

24 Flares Twitter 12 Facebook 12 Buffer 0 Google+ 0 24 Flares ×
This entry was posted in Musings and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • http://twitter.com/MidwestMomments Jennifer Barr

    So true! Love the visual poem at the beginning. Luckily, you have your blog to remind you until s/he can talk. :)

    • Anonymous

      THanks, Jennifer! Yeah, I started off all poem-y, and then I got all snarky at the end. I decided things were way too serious. LOL!

  • http://www.fromtracie.com From Tracie

    That is one thing that is great about blogging, the ability to pull up someone’s words at any time.

    I believe in you….that you will make it through, even on the hard days. 

    • Anonymous

      Thanks so much, Tracie. What would I do without friends like you? xoxoxo

  • http://www.misselaineouslife.com/ Elaine

    Can I tell you now that it will all be okay?  I know I can… but…  Surrounding you with hugs and reminding you to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy as much as you can and try to focus on the joy that is ahead. Love you!  xoxoxo 

    • Anonymous

      Elaine,

      You are a doll. If you can handle three, then I hope I can, too. Or I will be calling you every day to ask you how you did it!!!! xoxoxox

  • http://www.theumbels.com Evonne

    I love how you did the first sentence of this post!

    You can do this!  The great thing about a blog is the ability to read old posts.  A blog, or social media in general, also lets you reach out for support.  That support, and this post, will always be there.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, Evonne!

      It started off as kind of a poem? And then I wanted to make it not-so-serious. Was that wierd?
      ;-)

  • http://www.mamainsomnia.com MamaInsomnia

    LOVE this!!

    • Anonymous

      MamaInsomnia,

      I’m sure you can relate to some of this! MWAH! xoxo

  • http://mamawantsthis.com Mama Wants This

    You will be awesome :)

    • Anonymous

      MamaWantsThis,

      I really appreciate your vote of confidence! I hope you’re right! ;-)

  • http://www.mayangelstar.com Veronica

    The beginning I pray for… The reality so worth it, instead of the Kendall Jackson, I’ll take a strawberry daiquiri..

    • Anonymous

      Veronica,

      I’m not too picky. I’d happily slug down a strawberry daquiri! ;-)

  • http://www.anutinanutshell.com blueviolet

    It’s going to be so wonderful, and this time it’s just one. That’s automatically easier than last time!

    • Anonymous

      BlueViolet,

      I certainly hope you’re right! But I don’t want to jinx myself by thinking that way—oy!

  • Anonymous

    Ok momma you so got this.. and I am here to tell you PPD doesn’t have to happen this time. It is not a guarantee. But the love you have for lil red bean and the rest of your family is, as is the love they have for you. Hang onto that above all else. Love is the answer no matter what the question.

    • Anonymous

      Angel,

      You’re right about the PPD. I’m hoping I’ll be pleasantly surprised. But I’d just rather be prepared instead of caught off guard, you know? Either way, I know I’ll get through it.
      MWAH!

  • Taming Insanity

    There’s nothing wrong with takeout or sandwiches. But only for the first 5 years of a baby’s life or so.

    • Anonymous

      KLZ,

      HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAA! You make me laugh! I miss you!

  • http://twitter.com/dutchbeingme Julie

    I love this. Especially the “you make my heart hurt with happiness.” *smiles*

    • Anonymous

      Julie,

      Thank you! And please pass the Culver’s. And the pretzel M & M’s.
      xoxo

  • http://profiles.google.com/twonormalmoms Ally Wilson

    On those days, you will serve cereal for breakfast or order pizza, you will hand the little red bean to your husband when he walks in the door, and you will go soak in the tub with the door locked. You know what to do for PPD, you know what the signs are, you have tons of support in blogland and it may not happen. The girls will be your helpers (when they’re not fighting – they ARE still siblings, after all – lol). You will feel overwhelmed – because that’s what we mothers feel sometimes. But it will all be okay. Because of this: “You make my heart hurt with happiness.”

    I have to say – you have a way with words that makes me feel what you’re saying.

    • Anonymous

      Ally,

      Thank you for the warm words of wisdom & comfort. I will need to hear them again & again after red bean’s arrival….

      xoxo

  • http://inthesesmallmoments.com Nichole

    So beautiful, Erin.
    This line got me all teary: “You are proof that magic exists.”

    • Anonymous

      Nichole,

      Thank you! I am now thinking of using that on some kind of something to go in the baby’s room. As suggested by another commenter. ;-)
      xoxo

    • Anonymous

      Nichole,

      Thank you! I am now thinking of using that on some kind of something to go in the baby’s room. As suggested by another commenter. ;-)
      xoxo

    • Anonymous

      Nichole,

      Thank you! I am now thinking of using that on some kind of something to go in the baby’s room. As suggested by another commenter. ;-)
      xoxo

  • http://twitter.com/galitbreen Galit Breen

    Erin?

    You gave me chills here.

    Chills.

    Your words, your soul- are so very beautiful.

    XO

    • Anonymous

      Galit?

      I think the same thing about you every time I come to your blog.

      you are amazing.

  • Heather O

    You are amazing Erin. :-)

    • Anonymous

      Heather,

      YOU are the amazing one. And your visits here make me smile. I love you! xoxoxox

    • Anonymous

      Heather,

      YOU are the amazing one. And your visits here make me smile. I love you! xoxoxox

  • http://twitter.com/juliecgardner Julie Gardner

    Oh I love this. So MUCH. 

    And don’t worry. 

    We will all be here to remind you of the wings and the wind; the whoosh, rustle, whir.You will have so much love surrounding you, helping you, supporting you.

    I know that help from the outside is not always effective when you’re hurting on the inside; but at least you’ll know there is a big warm bubble of us around you.

    always.

    • Anonymous

      Julie,

      I love you. So much. Can you feel my hugs through your screen? Thank you.
      I love being in your bubble! (that sounds really bad, but you get my drift)
      xoxoxo

    • Anonymous

      Julie,

      I love you. So much. Can you feel my hugs through your screen? Thank you.
      I love being in your bubble! (that sounds really bad, but you get my drift)
      xoxoxo

    • Anonymous

      Julie,

      I love you. So much. Can you feel my hugs through your screen? Thank you.
      I love being in your bubble! (that sounds really bad, but you get my drift)
      xoxoxo

  • http://www.thekircorner.com Kir

    “You are proof that magic exists. You make my heart hurt with happiness.”

    that. That right there, the best thing you have EVERY WRITTEN.

    love this and you and that miracle. xo

    • Anonymous

      Awwww, thanks Kirsten! xoxoxoxo

  • http://twitter.com/MadsBloggingMom Mads Mom

    Chills. Tears. Words I can’t say. 
    I love and hate when you do that, when you write in a way that leaves me fumbling for words.
    And now I’ll go ask my 10 week old to pour me a glass of mommyjuice.

    • Anonymous

      Mads Mom,

      I will have a glass of mommyjuice, too! ;-)
      Thank you, you are always the sweetest!
      xoxo

  • Anonymous

    You will do great, girl! And you’ll have your bloggy friends to lean on when things are crazy, too. 

    • Anonymous

      Thank you, Shell! Yes, things will definitely get crazy—probably lots of good blog fodder down the road?!?!

  • http://npoj.blogspot.com AwayWeGoNancy

    The comments here are such little gifts. All I can say is….you will have a confidence this time you didn’t have last time. I mean, you did this times two. And you are floating on our arms. We will lift you up.

    I adore the miracle line. Because that’s exactly what this is.

    Love you!

    • Anonymous

      Nancy,

      I love you, too! You’ve been on my mind. A lot. I am lifting you up, too—can you feel me? Hugs. xoxoxoxo

  • http://tiaras-and-trucks.blogspot.com Angela

    I have chills right now.

    This: You are proof that magic exists.

    made me tear up.  You should frame this and hang it somewhere.  That line or the post as a whole, next to a place where you will be nursing with your frayed nerves and bloody nipples and your little bit of magic snuggled against your chest.

    • Anonymous

      Angela,

      What a fantastic idea. omg. thank you. I so appreciate your coming by to read and your kind comments! ;-)

  • http://oldtweener.com Sherri

    I think about you so often because of this…this miracle bean that just came along by chance or by buried hope. And not long after I had read your very touching post about your failed body….and then? This.

    I love this post, Erin…and I have loved following this pregnancy.

    • Anonymous

      Sherri,

      You are just the most thoughtful person. Always sneaking up on me, checking in on me and saying the sweetest things when I need to hear them most. I am glad you are enjoying hearing about the pregnancy—I feel like I’ve been posting about it too much and am worried about alienating people. Oh well.
      ;-)
      xoxoxox

  • Terri Sonoda

    What an exciting time for you Erin!  Enjoy now. Relax now. Be spoiled….now.  Because later?  You have work to do, Mommy.   Big Hugs, my sweet friend!

    • Anonymous

      Terri,

      HAHAHAHHAHA! relax? When? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA j/k. Thank you for coming by and for the hugs. Love you!

  • http://www.pamelahutchins.com Pamela

    Lovely, and ah, the memory of that feeling.  You will remember.  All your women friends will remind you, and yes the little one will too, sometimes, when you least expect it, and they fall asleep and look precious and like they’d never take all the pans out of the kitchen cabinets or unroll all the toilet paper, again.

  • http://www.thewatson6.blogspot.com jessica

    Beautiful post, I remember this feeling so well. The semi-calm before the beautiful storm. Can’t wait until you meet your new little one and hope the PPD goes much easier on you this time.

  • Marlene Hunter

    Dreams do come true or are they wishes? At 28 I decided it was time to have babies and be a stay at home Mom, after all my sister had 4 kids and made it look so easy, little did I know! The boyfriend knew my wishes said he wanted the same, this may work? It worked the very First time, yet I had no idea! I thought my missing periods were stress and the tiredness too. My girlfriend said I ought to go to the docter maybe I’m pregnant, I said no way we only did it once. Not only was I pregnant, I was 20 weeks, A surprise, more like a shock! A miracle you bet! At the moment I found out I knew she was a girl, my whole life changed right then, right there, I am a Mom! I always said I’d have a baby, a girl, before my 30th birthday, Sarah Eden Hunter was born on May 2nd, 1990, I turned 30 on May 22nd, 1990. I love so much reading your stories of Mommyhood, pregnancy, brings me back to those days with my kids, yes it’s hard but so rewarding, and with a blink of an eye they grow up, spread their wings and fly away, Sarah has pasted up all my dreams and wishes, she’s more than a miracle, all those little things you do everyday will pay off I promise. Now my second child is leaving for college, will it be easy, are you kidding me, I almost had a panic attack the other day! I still have my 13 year old son, he’s in 8th grade, Just remember the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world. You Rock and Rule and you roll out those words so good, keep it coming!