Today I am linking up with The Lightning & the Lightning-Bug for the prompt, “In the Dark of Night.”
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I tiptoe in to check on you, five crumpled dollar bills in my fist.
You sleep hard, tangled up in sheets, stuffed Nemo clutched tightly.
Your soft snores and sighs trickle through the night air,
Damp tendrils of hair cling to your cheeks—if I look closely I can still see the baby you.
On the cusp of six, you’re growing up at lightning speed, going through so much all at once, but dealing with it in your usual graceful way. Not asking for help, but tucking it inside and letting it marinate. Trying to be the big girl you almost are.
Izzy lost her first tooth Saturday night, on Yom Kippur!
Here, in the dark, you are still my baby girl. Despite new glasses, despite the first lost tooth, despite dealing with mean girls at school.
In the dark of night I whisper I’m sorry for all I’ve done wrong during the day.
In the dark of night I feel relieved that tomorrow is new so we can start over.
In the dark of night I think about the changes ahead–you will be a big sister in 11 days and I hope you’ll realize that I have room in my heart for all of you.
In the dark of night I quietly take your baby tooth out of the tooth fairy pillow and put the money in its place.
In the dark of night I feel a catch in my throat and I think:
Don’t be a big girl just yet.
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