Sometimes the days get so busy they fall into one another like pieces of clothing in the dryer. Somehow in between parent-teacher conferences, doctor’s appointments, checking homework, and putting away the groceries, I forgot to breathe. Somewhere, not so far from here, another mom is feeling the exact same thing. We talk about distracted living; we collectively juggle and balance and rush and schedule and slowly make our way down the list of things to do, and still manage find the time to judge each other. What the WHAT?!
Sometimes after a crappy day when the only thing I can honestly say is that I showed up; I was there…I steal into your rooms to watch you sleep and whisper my love into your ears. Somehow I’ll manage to make it through another day…because of you. You’re the reasons I press on despite your mastery of manipulation. I can’t believe you two are almost eight, because just the other day you were blastocysts in the IVF lab. Someday you’ll forgive me for being on auto-pilot, for running on fumes, and for not always being there. Somewhere, just up a flight of stairs maybe, the not-really-baby-anymore sleeps with her tushie up in the air; the older-by-a-minute-twin sells her secrets in her dreams; and the younger-by-a-minute-twin sweats in tangled sheets, clutching Nemo, her aging lovey.
So all of this just to say that I was there. I showed up. It may not sound like a lot, but sometimes it’s not a small thing. Showing up is hard work. It requires getting out of bed (quickly). It means making breakfast, packing lunches, making sure your backpacks are ready to go and that you sport crunchy blue & red locks on Crazy Hair Day at school. It means spraying Oxi Clean on the track marks in your Ariel and Merida underwear. It involves taking you to school, the doctor, birthday parties, play dates, Sunday school and to Dolce for a sweet treat if you’ve been good, or to Hoopla for manicures as an extra special reward.
I’m here. I showed up.
And you’re too little to possibly understand, but…those things? They’re enough. They’re all I can handle right now.
I am enough.