I Don’t Understand

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Today I’m hanging out with Jana , whose writing prompt is: I Don’t Understand. If you’d like to join me, hop on over to Jana’s Thinking Place & link up!


I don’t understand why, if you have a GLTBQ (an acronym for Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, Bisexual or Queer, for those who don’t know) person in your family (like me)– or even a friend that is gay, or your dog groomer is gay, or even your mailman or your endocrinologist — you cannot simply support him/her. It’s not your life or your choice, and it doesn’t concern you. Let people live their lives.

I don’t understand why, if someone in your immediate family is gay, you choose to hide in the shadows rather than stand up and be supportive. I don’t understand your denial, even after so many years. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of what other people think? gasp! IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. Let the “other people” deal with it!

I don’t understand why a gay relationship is different than a straight one. I don’t understand why bigger things are at stake. And why some couples are held to higher standards just because they happen to be of the same sex. Is your gay brother-in-law more likely to be a golddigger than I just because he’s gay? WTF?

Your gay son is not going to go away or decide he’s straight “after all.” Neither is your gay father or your gay brother. Your sister and her girlfriend are getting married and your uncle and his partner are moving in together. Gay is here to stay, people.

Time to get with the program. Saddle up. Put on your big girl panties.

The Underwear Affair

photo credit

Say hello to this big “new” world. Get comfortable with it.

You can’t hide from the camera. The lens will still catch it all. The secrets, the lies, things left unsaid. The feelings you think you’re concealing. They’re all out there, in plain sight.

Time to come up with a better plan, Stan.

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  • http://twitter.com/TheDoseTweets The Dose of Reality

    Standing up and applauding this post!! AMEN.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Very belated thank you for your applause! ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/gfunkified Greta Funk

    SERIOUSLY. It doesn’t do ANYONE a bit of good to not accept and love.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin


      I know, right? I can’t believe I am so behind on replies to this. SORRY! Glad you got home safely and can’t wait to see you again SOON for LTYM!

  • http://twitter.com/mooivrouw Dawn Michele

    I will never understand why gays are treated differently in any regard. People are people, and love is love. I recently went to a friend’s high school reunion because her girlfriend wasn’t available, and it was the most normal thing ever. No one cared that she took me as her date, and no one cared that I’m straight. That’s how it should always be. Support the people in your life, and love them for who they are. Thanks for all you do Erin. xoxo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin


      Omg. I am sooooo late to the replies on this post, but I’ve been thinking about this forever. LOVE WHAT YOU DID. And that no one cared about it—because like you said, that’s how it should be!! YOU ARE MY HERO! love!

  • Lady Jennie

    You know that controversial post I wrote (and you love me anyway). I shared about my religious belief system, but I still believe that everyone should have the same freedom I am asking for. Everyone should be respected as they make their own choices. Whether someone is gay or straight has absolutely nothing to do with any affection or respect I have for them.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin


      Better late than never, right? Here I am finally replying to this post. I’m glad you wrote your controversial post—and I think as long as we are respectful, civil, etc., things will be okay. But there’s a lot that goes on in today’s world that is nowhere near those things, and it saddens me. Le sigh.

  • http://www.fromtracie.com From Tracie

    My friend’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with the love I have for them, or the support I show them. That is just crazy.

  • Robin @ Farewell Stranger

    This is brilliant. I don’t understand it either. Not at all.

  • http://www.reflectionsofnow.com/ Kimberly

    People are people. Love is love. There are no differences and I don’t understand why others think that. It doesn’t do them any good to not accept others.

  • http://twitter.com/backtoallen Lisa Allen

    I’m smiling because I think you’re awesome but sighing because really? It’s sad that we really still have to say these things, and sad because others have nothing better to do than judge who someone loves. I know too many people who need to let those words sink in. Love is love, people. There has to be a t-shirt that says that, right?

  • Larry Best

    Love this starkly, but beautifully written, post! Right on!

  • http://profiles.google.com/twonormalmoms Ally Wilson

    SO well said, Erin. Love is love, people. My wish for the world is that those with closed minds would stop feeling threatened by things that don’t concern them and don’t affect them in the least!

  • http://twitter.com/momgosomething Kimberly M

    When I read this I immediately thought of my best friend from highschool. He took me out for coffee one day and he was visibly sick to his stomach. He told me he was gay and I said “So? I’ve got a giant zit on my shoulder.” and we laughed. It didn’t change anything. Nothing. He was still M. No different.
    He’s married now and I was honoured to be a part of it. People are assholes and always will be.
    I’m glad that you’re feet are planted firmly on the ground and speaking loud for those who are too afraid to. You’re wonderful and that’s why I love you.

  • Vikki

    Those are some big panties.

  • http://www.misselaineouslife.com Elaine A.

    That last line is so great! And yes, as Vikki said, those are some REALLY large panties. I mean, WOAH. Oh and I love you for standing up for what you believe and putting it out there like this. But then you already knew that. At least I hope you did… xoxoxo

  • http://www.facebook.com/smartinez03 Stephanie Marie Martinez

    I don’t understand either! Buying me an ‘I heart the gay dad project’ tee in the next few days! I want to support a longtime blog friend!