How Often Do You Say, “I’m Sorry?”

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Screen Shot 2013-09-19 at 8.32.04 PM

The tweet that started it all.






The tweet conversation continued with a few people, especially Jessica of @bernthis.

The frustrating thing? Is that I’ve written about this before. Like, not that long ago. See: “I’m Not Sorry, January 2012 Edition.”

Please note that although I originally intended this to be a funny video, it didn’t turn out that way. I’m sorry. I’m depressed.

Please note that I’m addressing the general public, not anyone specific. If you find any of this personally offensive, I’m sorry. A girl’s gotta say what’s on her mind. And I’m tired of feeling judged, seeing the stigma of depression, hearing about the terrible drugs that go along with it, etc.

This is reality. This is me. This is my brain….weaning off drugs. This is me going through withdrawal. This is me with #ff00ff;">pink hair, eating ice cream. I’m not perfect.

And I’m NOT sorry about that.

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  • Kir

    if you ask my husband the one thing that drives him crazy about me, (In a bad way, not a good way) is that I apologize for EVERYTHING. I say “I’m sorry” so much for things that are not even my fault or for things that don’t even require an apology that he gets angry with me for thinking of myself like that.

    I also don’t know why I feel the need to say it so often, but I do. Like I’m sorry for even being here, on this planet.

    So I understand, I get it, but you don’t need to apologize for anything. Because you are incredible and awesome. Don’t ever apologize for the INCREDIBLE-NESS that is You.

  • Arnebya

    I don’t know when it stopped, but I used to be an extreme apologist, for everything, even things I knew full well did not need or deserve an apology. Now, though? I catch myself being too hard, too stubborn to say sorry when it’s necessary. I have no in between, it seems. I am glad you are realizing how incredible you are, how worthy you are, and how apologies shouldn’t be made for being yourself.

  • JDaniel4′s Mom

    Now that I think about it I say I am sorry a lot too.

  • Roxanne Piskel

    I can’t stop apologizing either. I’m sorry about that. ;-)

  • Andrea

    This is so powerful. Thank you for being real and honest and for bringing this to us. Apologies shouldn’t be made for living a life the only way we know how.

    I broke myself of the “I’m sorry” habit a little while ago, when I realized I was apologizing when someone else wronged me just to clear the air, and my self-esteem and self-worth and self-confidence were almost totally gone. Now I’m on a mission to get my kids from over-apologizing and my husband from under-apologizing.

  • Joe Cardillo

    Is that ice cream or is it gelato? I’m sorry, I just have to know =)

    Was talking about something kind of related to this recently, how my favorite connections with people are not about keeping the calm or making people happy, but instead about sharing in a fair, kind and ethical way whatever our thoughts, ideas, and self-truths are. From that place, you never have to be sorry about anything. Life is practice, for more life.

  • Julie Gardner

    I do this, too. And you know how I know I do it too often?
    Because my daughter now apologizes about 100 times a day for things that she shouldn’t.

    Yep. And that is something I AM sorry about.

  • From Tracie

    “I’m sorry that I’m not the same person that I was.” I have said this. And apologized for this. And beat myself up about this….so many, many times. Even though I know there is nothing to apologize FOR. NOTHING. People change. Often that is a good thing – in my case it is. And there is no reason to apologize for that.

    I f*ing love your pink hair. And I love you. This is a powerful moment. You don’t have to apologize for any of these things. You are amazing, and deserve space and love surrounding you as you grow and change and be yourself.

  • RobinFarr

    I had ice cream for dinner last night. I’m only sorry because I’m already having a really fat week.

    This was really real and very powerful. I’m glad you did it. I’m glad you’re so open and allow yourself to be vulnerable. I hope the other shit feels better soon.

  • Laurel

    That was honest, painful, lovely. Depression can suck it. I apologize about mine preemptively, as if I can keep people from becoming annoyed or giving up on me. “I’m sorry I’m such a drag right now! I’ll be super perky next week!” Whatever.

    Thanks for posting this.

  • Jen

    I love my lavender scented eye mask. I really wish I could spend more time with it and with that awesome looking ice cream in your vlog.

    I first want to send you love, though.

    And to tell you that, if its true, if you’re not really sorry, that’s okay. Xoxo

  • Alison

    One should never apologize for eating ice cream
    Or being depressed. Withdrawal. Crying. Not wanting to get out of bed.
    Love to you, Erin. xo

  • alexandra

    It surprises me when I say I’m sorry, and I mean I’m sorry for the pain someone is in, and they tell me, “It’s not your fault.” I still feel right in saying I”m sorry. I’m sorry you broke your ankle. I’m sorry your uncle passed away. I”m sorry. It’s appropriate.

  • alexandra

    You are so sweet. xo

  • Chibi Jeebs

    I fucking love you and your pink hair and your moods and your sharing and your sorry, not sorry. I love this. I need to visit this topic myself. <3

  • C. Cole

    Lots of stuff in this video. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to give it as much focus as it naturally deserves, but I support you and all that you are verbalizing. Or internalizing. And I feel you don’t have to say you’re sorry so much, though the willingness to do so should count for something. With whomever is counting. Whether you say you’re sorry or you don’t, you’re still worthy, still valuable as a mom, woman, wife, sister, person, author, blogger, activist and ice cream connoisseur.

  • Nina Badzin

    You’re so good at naming things Erin–at just saying it. So many of us over apologize. I love what you said at the end . . . “I don’t know where this is going, but it was good to talk to you.” I feel that way about the entire existence of my blog. That line of yours just about sums it up.

  • Angela Youngblood

    Raw. Real. Honest. Brave. Sending good vibes and love your way. Keep fighting and keep sharing, you are helping other people feel less alone.

  • Stevie

    Wow. Powerful. I really liked this, because I felt I was just hanging out with you eating ice cream. Why is there this stigma? Why do we feel like we have to say sorry? Why it to scary to say I’m depressed. I don’t know the answer. But thank you for being here and for sharing, and asking these questions. And know that it means something.

  • BipolarMom (Jenn)

    Brave, poetic, and captivating. It was as if I were watching you figure it all out, all those thoughts that are going through your head, although it was out loud instead of inside. Thank you. Sending hugs.

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