(This is me with Marc the Player at Senior Prom in 1994. See below)
**This post is shamelessly copied from Kyslp. Read her version here.
Dear Erin (1994),
Stop sucking in your gut—you don’t even have one and have no idea yet what a real gut looks like. Just wait and see. You look skinny and amazing, and you will never be this thin again. Especially without having to exercise or monitor what you eat.
I am so glad you finally stopped obsessing over that other boy who never liked you and instead moved on to Marc the Player. He was a hottie, wasn’t he? I can’t believe you landed him! He may have been hot, but he wasn’t exactly the brightest bulb in the batch. He loved to play with your hair and bring you flowers, so that wooed you. Yet he was a Westbanker and you could never *really* get past that, could you? It’s a good thing he blew you off; it was really in your best interests. I think you simply had “gullible” scrawled across your forehead.
I’m glad you’ve finally let go for your senior year–isn’t it nice? You don’t care so much what other people think and you’ve got your eyes on the prize–college. I know you’re looking forward to escaping the parental units and the small-town feel of NOLA, but don’t get too excited; Jackson, MS is very much its own fishbowl. Yet it will be a treat to be one in a class of 325 as opposed to one in a class of 55. Your high school is entirely too small for its own good.
Say goodbye to the people who were mean to you and called you “Witchnose.” The boys who are always telling you to “crawl back into your little Erin shell.”
Don’t worry about the stupid guys who never gave you a second look–in college you will meet and date several really great guys, but none will be The One. Still, it will be good practice.
Shrug off the seriousness and stress of the last few years at home and try to just have fun. Are you capable of doing that?
Oh, and skip out on the nervous breakdown in college. It’s really a bummer for everyone and you should just get some good anti-depressants ahead of time. Don’t take on too much at college. You really don’t need to teach those 3rd graders French. They won’t really be listening or paying much attention to you. Save that time and hang out with your friends or just focus on yourself. Skip tutoring in the Writing Center, too—nobody cares about that shit on your resume!
P.S. Do not drink so much of that punch on fraternity row. It is filled with Everclear and makes you act like a fool.
P.P.S. Overalls are not, were not, nor will they ever be in style. Burn them! Along with those high-waisted pants.