Baths and Red Knees, Please.

49 Flares Twitter 20 Facebook 26 Buffer 0 Google+ 3 49 Flares ×
GFunkified

 

This is my first time participating with The Sunday Spill & G*Funkified’s iPPP meme. I love looking at their photos because they’re ridiculously talented behind the camera (or iPhone, as it were). I, on the other hand, am not.

But today I had a meeting at the hospital where Piper was born. I remembered the day I was discharged, we decided not to wait for a wheelchair because we knew it would take another hour I wanted to get home and start my new life with our new baby. Let’s just say that walk? Was one of the longest and most painful of my life; but today, walking there again…I felt waves of tenderness and nostalgia wash over me. The twins skipped along next to D as he carried Piper in her carseat, while I shuffled very slowly and very far behind, bowling ball between my legs.

So, 20 months later:

IMAG0075

baths are the best.

 

 

 

 

 

one of the things i love about you

is even in all of your “baby-ness,”

you are such a little girl already.

your right leg tossed carelessly over your left.

even in the high chair, your chubby ankles are crossed.

your knees red, rubbed raw from speed crawling

when you should be walking—

but you’re my baby. our baby. our last baby. our miracle baby.

i want to carry you on my hip forever.

i’m torn between wanting you to toddle and start walking

and wanting you to stay my little one always, pulling on me

to pick you up.

maybe it is I who has kept you a baby for so long.

the minutes when it’s just you and me…

IMAG0081

post bath cuddles.

i can’t believe the gift you are to me.

but now it’s time for me to let you go

let you grow.

because i know

i should push you to do things big girls do.

i have been selfish with you and it’s only held you back.

go on, sweet Piper.

i love you, red bean.

love,

mommy

49 Flares Twitter 20 Facebook 26 Buffer 0 Google+ 3 49 Flares ×
This entry was posted in Home + Family and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • http://writingwishing.com/ Alison

    She is gorgeous!
    Keeping the baby a baby for longer, that’s so natural isn’t it? My little one is 14 months and doing little boy things already. He won’t slow down for anyone. Sigh.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Alison,

      I love it. I’m anxious for Piper to do more big girl things, but I’m sure as soon as she actually does, I’ll wish it was back this way…the grass is always greener, right? xo

  • Greta

    It’s so hard to let them go, and grow, especially when you know it’s your last child. I’ll probably be calling my “baby” BooBoo until he goes to college. I understand. :)

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Greta,

      As long as it’s not Honey Boo Boo, that sounds okay to me! Missed you today, hope to see you sometime soon! MWAH!

  • Ashley

    Oh girl, it’s so so SO hard. I’m a few months behind you with an 8 month old and I almost burst into tears when he stood up for the first time. It goes way too fast each time, but the last time? Is so.much.faster. Sending lots of hugs xo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Ashley,

      Standing up at 8 months, holy crap! Well, I have the opposite problem with Piper, but I’m trying to be laid back about it. Not always easy. But she’ll do it all with more time and some help, so that makes me feel better! HUGS!

  • http://www.twocannoli.com/ Kristin S.

    Oh so sweet! My son is almost 4, and I still love to carry him so much.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Kristin,

      I have 7 year-old twins and carry them sometimes too. It’s just a kid thing. But the problem here is that I carry her too much and she’s not feeling any pressure to walk (apparently). Need to help convince her/ push her that direction.

  • Lisa Allen

    Post bath cuddles are THE best. I know how the push and pull feels; you want to see them grow but you also want them to stay YOURS. I just left Adam at campus again today, and as I cried on the way there he said ‘you should be used to this by now, you know.’ Thing is, I don’t know that moms ever get used to having our hearts walk around without us. xoxo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Lisa,

      You’re right. And I’m dreading some of those times to come. Maybe you can write me a manual on that? And all your notes from lunch today, too? :-) it was SOOOO good to see you! xoxoxo

      • Lisa Allen

        I loved seeing you today Erin :) And you know what? You soooo don’t need a manual. You’re a rock star; you just have to claim it ;)

  • http://www.fromtracie.com From Tracie

    She is so beautiful. You are making me miss those days of post bath cuddling.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      thanks, Tracie! Yes, I will miss those times soon enough. I’m sure. But time goes on and you just….I don’t know…we figure it out along the way???

  • Melissa Ruppert Olivero

    So sweet!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Thanks, Melissa! HUGS!

  • Katie Eure

    Such beautiful words. And I totally get it – I’m going to keep my last baby (who’s 2 1/2!) a baby for as long as I can. But we can’t keep them that way forever, can we?

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Katie,

      No , you’re right….we can’t. And it’s probably best that way so eventually we can have our lives back. LOL!!!

  • Sarah Heleringer Reinhart

    OMyGoodness. Her in the bathtub crossing her legs like that. So very cute Erin. Yes, I know that mixed feeling very well. The hanging on to the babyness vs. the excitement in seeing them grow. It pulls at every mama’s heart. xx.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Sarah,

      I still can’t get over her leg crossing. It’s pretty much 24/7. It’s the cutest thing ever. I don’t remember my twins doing that, but then again motherhood gives you mommy brain and you lose all your brain cells, so….? Or maybe I need to look waaaaay back in my archives and see. LOL! (cringe)

  • Mamarific

    She’s beautiful! So hard to see them outgrow the babyness, isn’t it? My baby is about to turn 3, which blows my mind.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Mamarific,

      Congrats on your almost 3-year-old! Can you write me up a reminder manual for that age? OMG, so not ready! Thanks for stopping by!

  • http://www.misselaineouslife.com Elaine A.

    oh my, so sweet! It’s so good to read your words, my friend.

    I have an independent baby girl. I couldn’t hold her back if I wanted to. I cannot believe how fast they are growing… xoxo

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Elaine,

      She’s pretty independent in some ways, but….just ready for the walking to take off and for her to start really talking. It just stresses me out, you know?

  • Kim@Co-Pilot Mom

    I understand completely. I always tell my boys that they will always be my babies, even when they are grown. I struggle to let go, even though I know I must. :)

  • Ally

    Love, love, love the casual, concentrated cuteness in that bath picture. It’s funny that you talk about holding her back because you are right, there is SO much “big girl” in that pose.

  • Tara

    Aww, so sweet! Babies will be your babies forever.

  • http://secondglantz.blogspot.com SecondGlantz

    Beautiful post! No matter how old she gets, she’ll always be your baby – and a super adorable one at that!

  • Pingback: My Toddler Talks & Kimberly Scanlon | Erin Margolin