A Moment With Abby About Being Gay

Posted on January 28, 2013 by erin

With the Gay Dad Project fundraising frenzy in full swing, I decided it was the appropriate time to teach my seven-year-old twin girls the word “gay.” I’ve never used the term with them because my dad and his husband have been together for 20 years, and married long before Abby & Izzy were hanging out in a Petri dish. It’s all they’ve ever known. They just accept it. But they see my computer screen, they see my t-shirts and the buttons and my business cards and the perks coming in for campaign contributors…I can feel their curiosity and have narrowly avoided confrontation because I wasn’t sure they were ready.

Today I decided they were. Maybe it was I who wasn’t ready? But it’s a moot point now.

So we talked a little bit. Izzy was camera shy, but Abby was happy to have a chat on camera and I’d love you to watch. This is the kind of conversation I wish more parents would have with their children. They all need to learn that GAY IS OKAY.  If you’re having trouble viewing the short clip, please CLICK HERE for the direct link. It’s only two minutes long and you won’t be sorry (unless you’re offended by sweats, pajamas and bedhead).

What do YOU teach your kids about these issues? How have they reacted? What questions do they ask, and how old are they? I want to hear all about it in the comments!

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  • http://twitter.com/RASJacobson Renee Jacobson

    So proud of you – and for Abby – for supporting LOVE in whatever form it takes. This was a wonderful piece to wake up to.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Renee,

      Thank you, sweet friend. Cannot wait to meet you and I am so grateful for your support! xoxxo

  • http://twitter.com/sundayspill Sarah Reinhart

    actually we’ve just started to have these conversations with our kiddos (6,4, and 3) :) And it’s come up because when they play they often play with dolls, princesses, princes, castles, and so on. Someone is always about the get married to someone else. Our talk started after my daughter wanted one princess to marry another princess. My son said girls can’t marry girls. I listened to them squabble about it for a minute and then came to me. I have gay friends, My younger brother is gay. I knew I wanted my kids from the get go to learn that it is more than okay to be gay :) So we talked about how some girls love girls. some boys love boys. and YES, in some places those types of marriages happen. we didn’t cover everything. but we’ve started :) And I’m so happy we have.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Sarah,

      I love you. And I’m so sorry for the late reply. But it’s refreshing to hear that these conversations are going on in your house too. And others’ houses. And I wish for the day when we won’t have to explain, because everything will just be how it is and will be acceptable. xo

  • Mary @ A Teachable Mom

    Love this! Both my kids have friends whose parents are gay so we’ve talked about this a bunch of times. It’s a no big deal thing for us so far. We talk about all different kinds of relationships, and I’m grateful to help them see that love in all forms is a wonderful thing.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Mary,

      I love this! Your comment gives me hope! I’m glad your kids have exposure to diversity because there are plenty who don’t, and I worry for them. Happy Friday!

  • http://writingwishing.com/ Alison

    Erin, you are a shining example for your girls.
    We all need an Erin in our corner.
    I hope that when the time comes for me to have this conversation with my boys, I’ll be good at it. :)

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Alison,

      I have no doubt you’ll be most excellent at this conversation. Seriously. And I can’t wait to hear about it! xoxo

  • http://www.facebook.com/greta.funk.7 Greta Funk

    The end of this brought happy tears to my eyes. We have random dinner conversations sometimes about boys marrying boys or girls marrying girls. Just like Sarah said, it starts out with one of the kids saying it can’t happen, and one of us saying, yep, sure can!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Greta,

      Our kids must hang out sometime soon! And I love hearing about your dinner conversations! ps when are we going shopping? love,me

  • http://www.facebook.com/maureen.rich8 Maureen Rich Wallace

    Just awesome, Erin. She is a beautiful, BRIGHT little girl, and it’s so heartwarming to hear so much of her focus is on the word LOVE. (I also love the “Gay is OK!” shout-out!) You’re a wonderful mom (and daughter).

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Maureen,

      Thank you so much for watching, sharing, and being so supportive! Sorry for the late reply! Happy weekend. xoox

  • http://twitter.com/amandaaustin Amanda

    This truly brought tears to my eyes. Just love this so much. I especially loved the end. You guys are simply adorable!!

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Amanda,

      Awwww, thanks for the sweet words! Glad you watched and loved it. I think this has to go under my “favorite posts” category. Happy Friday!

  • http://twitter.com/GDRPempress Mrs. Pitt

    Your children will be all that’s good in the world, because of how you model love for them. LOVE (the word tolerance has always bothered me)

    Just beautiful. Like you.

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Mrs. Pitt/Alexandra,

      Yes, tolerance bothers me too–someone did a post about that not long ago, but I seem to have memory troubles lately. You are beautiful, too. Thanks for the LOVE and I am grateful to have you in my life. XOXO

  • http://www.facebook.com/smartinez03 Stephanie Marie Martinez

    Awww, I love it! We have just always made sure to let Nate know that love is what’s important. We have tried to approach parenting with non gender bias and tell him when he grows up we want him happy, I can’t think of more specific examples but when things come up we talk them out. Nate knows we don’t care if he marries a boy a girl or no one. We do tell him we would like grandbabies no matter what hahaha

    • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

      Stephanie,

      I think what you’re telling Nate (and what you’ll tell Abigail!!!) is fantastic. And YES TO GRANDBABIES, WOOHOO! Hope you are feeling great!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/michelle.sarrazinburdick Michelle Sarrazin Burdick

    Such a sweet girl. Our children will trust what we tell them as long as it is with a loving heart and we live what we teach. It’s such a small thing to raise our children to know that ‘gay is okay’, but it has the power to change our whole world.