25 Things of Which I Am Afraid (Schmutzie style)

Posted on September 18, 2011 by erin

Do you know Elan Morgan, a.k.a. Schmutzie? I adore her and am a lurker on her blog. I had the privilege of meeting her and hearing her speak at Blissdom earlier this year, but I was too shy to say much. Her recent post, 25 Things of Which I Am Afraid was so inspiring that I asked her if it would be okay if I did the same here. Fortunately she said yes, so it’s time to set some of my fears free. Maybe you’ll decide to do the same (after you go visit Schmutzie, of course)?

Schmutzie.com

1. I am afraid of childbirth.

2. I am afraid of being ordinary. Of never doing anything extraordinary.

3. I am afraid of flying, planes, helicopters, and puddle jumpers.

4. I am afraid I will never write a book.

5. I am afraid books will become obsolete.

6. I am afraid I don’t even know how to write a book or where to start. Or who would want to buy or read it.

7. I am afraid I’ve lost all kinds of momentum because this baby is coming.

8. I am afraid I’ve forgotten how to be a mommy to a baby.

9. I am afraid I give my heart away too easily.

10. I am afraid of death.

11. I am afraid that I am afraid of too many things.

12. I am afraid that I don’t value myself or what I do enough.

13. I am afraid of what happens behind closed doors in restaurant kitchens.

14. I am afraid of throat cultures and tongue depressors.

15. I am afraid I will never be able to learn Hebrew.

16. I am afraid to reach out. I am afraid and don’t like asking for help. I am afraid to seem needy.

17. I am afraid of what people think of me. Still.

18. I am afraid that if I cut my hair I will look like a boy. I lack the fine, delicate features necessary for a fun, pixie-type cut.

19. I am afraid that when I get old there will be no one to pluck my eyebrows or that I’ll turn into the dreaded old lady with a beard.

20. I am afraid of mean girls who may lurk, waiting to pounce on my daughters. Or worse? That one of my own children may become a mean girl herself, despite my best intentions and all the talks?

21. I am afraid we aren’t green enough.

22. I am afraid of catheters.

23. I am afraid of cockroaches.

24. I am afraid of mini skirts.

25. I am afraid of the fact that this list could easily be a mile longer.

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  • http://www.theumbels.com Evonne

    Erin, I share your fears with many of these things.  I need stuff to write about so perhaps I’ll do a list or a post about a fear or two.  Hopefully the germs my kids brought home from school will leave my body soon so I can actually write a coherent post!

    If you wrote a book, I would buy it.  I love the stuff you write!

  • http://borderlessthinking.com Cherry

    I have to ask – miniskirts? All the others, whether I have those fears or not I understand, but not the miniskirt one.

  • http://twitter.com/galitbreen Galit Breen

    Oh Erin, I adore you- and I adore this. It’s so transparent and honest- just the way I like posts! That is a gift of yours, you know that right? That open heart? It draws people in- like me! XO

  • Anonymous

    thank you for writing this list, I love what you reveal about yourself, and I think MORE of you for it. But I accept you as you are and you know that. 

     I loved Schmutzie’s as well.  :)

  • Courtney

    I think so many of your fears are also many others. love the openness of this post!

  • Anonymous

    I would absolutely buy a book you wrote, I don’t think they will ever become obsolete. I hate flying too shhh don’t tell anyone. I think the baby will be fine cause YOU are it’s momma. Trust me when I say it all comes back and this time you will get to enjoy it more because it will be only one needing your attention. I think you are doing what you can to be as green as possible and one person cannot do it all. I think we all feel like we don’t fit in at some point and fear being viewed as someone we don’t want to be if we need help or further guidance in things. I love you and miss you terribly here..

  • Taming Insanity

    You have reminded me to pluck my chin whisker. Thank you darling.

  • Taming Insanity

    You have reminded me to pluck my chin whisker. Thank you darling.

  • http://www.thekircorner.com Kir

    hey, sweet girl…there is nothing about you that is NOT enough..we are ALL afraid of things and everyone’s list is always going to be More than 25 things…but I could also give you a list of the things that amaze and awe me about you. You are one of my favorite people. xo

  • Ally

    Honest list, Erin. Writing about an issue, a single fear – that’s one thing. Putting out a list of your fears, exposing yourself – that’s much more difficult to do! Several of these hit very close to home for me, as I imagine it will for many of your readers.

  • http://twitter.com/CathyLynn_ Cathy Lynn

    #18- Bullshit. You could totally pull it off.
    #13- Me too. Ew.
    #20- There will be mean girls. They will make your girls stronger.
    #6- I will buy it! And read it!
    #2- How do you define extraordinary? You are pregnant again, I think that qualifies.

    You are awesome. The words you write here prove that.

  • MiMi

    I am afraid that reading this list has made me more afraid. LOL

  • http://www.amothersthoughts.com A Mother’s Thoughts

    This is pretty raw, and it is so true, once you get on a roll then that is when everything comes out, like the restaurant kitchens, that is SO true, but I’ve never thought to write it down.  Great list, I’m with you on a few of them.

    Lynn

  • http://www.literalmom.com Missy | Literal Mom

    #8 – it’ll come back.  I had 5 years between mine and it came back even better than the first time!  And Blissdom – did you love it?

  • Juliecgardner

    Oh my sweet friend.
    I share so many of these fears. (I’m afraid of how many we share ;-)

    But one thing you need never worry about?

    You are enough. Just as you are. For everyone you love. For all of us, too.
    More than enough.

    XO

  • Terri Sonoda

    I can relate to many of your ‘afraids’, even at my age.  I am sure, however, that you will be a wonderful mom to this new baby.   Can’t wait for the special day and pictures.  I’m sure you’re ready!

  • http://loveyourmessbook.com Allison Nazarian

    love you, and can relate

  • http://npoj.blogspot.com AwayWeGoNancy

    For a post on fears, you are truly one of the most fearless writers I know. You go there, and you do it in an inspiring fashion. You make me question what I hold back, and challenge me. And again, you lay it out here. And you cause us all to think.

  • http://www.tinybluelines.com Tiny Blue Lines

    LOL for #19! I’ve made my husband, my sisters, and brothers all swear that if they are around, they will ensure to pluck the one hair that insists on growing on my chin when I am stuck at the nursing home…I don’t want to be the dreaded bearded lady either! :)

  • http://www.misselaineouslife.com Elaine A.

    Oh great.  Thanks for putting #13 in my head… ;-)  

    I have many of the same fears myself.  xoxo

  • bywordofmouth

    Your writing is such a gift and your fears … they round you out, make you real … 
    make you honest and the of that beauty shines thro in all of your words.You are just fab … do not ever forget that … and i have met you IRL, so can attest to that fab’ness ;)

  • http://twitter.com/sellabitmum Tracy Morrison

    Oh gosh – I will totally hang out with you in the old folks home while we sport our beards. 

  • Lady Jennie

    You. are NOT. ordinary.

  • Lisa B

    Love your list. Can so relate! (I didn’t realize you were at Blissdom! I wonder if we ever passed each other in a hallway or sat at opposite ends of a table. Wild. (Are you going next year by chance?)

  • Lisa B

    Love your list. Can so relate! (I didn’t realize you were at Blissdom! I wonder if we ever passed each other in a hallway or sat at opposite ends of a table. Wild. (Are you going next year by chance?)

  • Lisa B

    Oh, yeah, it’s me… (LisaOntheLoose.) I signed in with wrong thingee.) Hope you are doing great.